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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The A to Z of toxic emotions: A magical new book reveals the feelings that ruin our lives and how to conquer them

 

Artist and writer Matthew Johnstone won world­wide acclaim after turning his experiences of battling depression into a ­poignant and humorous illustrated guide, I Had A Black Dog.

Now Mathew and his lifelong friend and writer James Kerr have produced an equally enchanting and enlightening book, The Alphabet Of the Human Heart, chronicling the negative emotions that can hold us back in
life ... and how you can ­conquer them.

Anger

A... IS FOR ANGER: We all know what anger is. But what makes us angry? What fears, griefs, insecurities past hurts? Understand your anger and you can overcome it. Anger might make you enemies, but enemies don’t make you angry. Your thoughts do. Control them and everything will be cool

B is for Boredom

B... IS FOR BOREDOM: Bored, restless, anxious, disconnected? The cure is curiosity. So, try something new. Learn to dance. Snowboard. Paint. Sing. Juggle. Ask a child for their advice. Take it. Pretend that today is the last day of your life. Or the first. Turn off the television. Tune in to life

Criticism

C... IS FOR CRITICISM: Criticism tells you everything you need to know about yourself. So listen carefully. The faults you point out in others are very often your own in disguise. The way you speak about the world is the way the world will speak about you. How can life ever look up if you keep putting everyone down?

D is for Depression

D... IS FOR DEPRESSION: If you think you might be depressed, the bravest thing you can do is seek help. The only shame would be to miss out on life. Talk to your doctor. Find a therapist you can trust and relate to. Confide in your friends. Exercise. Eat healthily. Rest. Meditate. Don’t self-medicate. Always remember, this, too, will pass.

Ego

E... IS FOR EGO: To truly live, live for others.To serve your best interests, serve someone else. The less it is all about you, the more will come to you. The only thing coming between you and happiness is your ego. Let it go

F is for Fear

F... IS FOR FEAR: Fear holds you back. To get over it, get into it. Scared of heights? Jump from a plane. Scared of spiders? Pick one up. Scared of clowns? Paint your face. It won’t be easy, but life will get easier. And much less frightening

G is for Greed

G IS FOR GREED: Too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Values, not valuables, are what define us. Greed may make our bank balance and bellies grow, but it shrinks our soul. Ask yourself how much is enough, and how much is too much? Sometimes the things that are supposed to make us happy don't

H is for Hate

H... IS FOR HATE: If you begin to feel hate, stop. It is a lethal emotion. And will take you places you don’t want to go. So make peace with yourself. And make peace with the world. Practice positive mind control. Let go of resentment, envy, hurt and anger. Face down your fears. And don’t feed the fire. It will consume you

I is for Insecurity

I... IS FOR INSECURITY: Insecurity can steal our lives. But it can be overcome. First, ask yourself: who is saying the hurtful things? You’ll discover that the voice inside is your own. So keep telling yourself that you are loving and loveable, worthwhile and wonderful. Soon others will, too

J is for Jealousy

J... IS FOR JEALOUSY: Jealousy kills the love it seeks to protect. It can remind you of who and why you love — but it can bring with it pain, anxiety and heartbreak. To save your relationship, lose your jealousy. This isn’t easy. It takes time and effort. Truthfulness and trust. Patience and perseverance. Reality checks and reassurance. It’s a labour of love. Jealousy is a snake: cut off its head

K is for Karma

K... IS FOR KARMA: Karma is Sanskrit for ‘deed’ or ‘act’. It is the law of cause and effect, part of the Buddhist cycle of past, present and future. Whether your karma is good or bad depends on your intentions. Act with a pure heart and your karma will be kinder

L is for Lies

L... IS FOR LIAR: Lies never lie still. They toss and turn inside us, trying to escape, tearing us away from our own deepest truth. If you lie, ask yourself: ‘Why?’ Lies often cover our deepest fears of being discovered, found out, unmasked; of being seen for who we really are. To be all you can be, tell the truth. It might hurt at first to admit it, but it will truly set you free

M is for Mood

M... IS FOR MOOD: Many things can cause moods to swing. Drink. Drugs. Diet. Stress. To find balance, go back to basics. Sleep well, eat healthily, exercise. And choose your thoughts carefully. Where your thoughts go, your moods will follow

N is for Negativity

N... IS FOR NEGATIVITY: Life looks the way you look at it. A negative perspective paints a bleaker universe. Always remember that your outlook will be your outcome. A few small changes can make a huge difference. For instance, try saying ‘Yes’ to every question (within reason). You’ll discover new places, meet new people and live a happier and richer life

O is for Overwhelmed

O... IS FOR OVERWHELMED: When things get on top of you, it’s time to get on top of things. Stop for a moment. Make a list. Identify your priorities. Prioritise your priorities. Be realistic about what is achievable. Estimate the time it will take. Double it. Then start at the top of the list and work your way down. Do one thing at a time

P is for Perfectionism

P... IS FOR PERFECTIONISM: Perfection is a kind of paralysis. The tighter you hold on to something, the more it will hold you back. Often the best way to improve something is to let it go. So do the best that you possibly can, finish it and relax. It will be better than you think. It might even be perfect

Q is for Quit

Q... IS FOR QUIT: To give up is to give in to the voice that says: ‘It doesn’t matter.’ It does. You know it does. Sometimes, the only thing we have to beat is our desire to give up. Overcome this and you can overcome anything. Never give up on your dreams. Never give up on you. Never give up. Never. Ever

R is for Regret

R... IS FOR REGRET: Stuff happens. But it doesn’t need to keep happening. Regret keeps us living in the past, dragging us backwards, holding us back. To get over it, get into the moment. Empty your mind, let go of your thoughts, just be. Be forgiving. Be loving. Be grateful. Let the past be past

S is for Stress

S... IS FOR STRESS: Insomnia. Heartache. Anxiety. Depression. The cost of stress is never worth the salary that demands it. When designing your work life, make sure that your life works. Remember the importance of relaxation. Exercise, meditation and moderation all release the tension. Drink, drugs and junk food don’t. So unwind your mind. A little stress is healthy; too much can kill you. Deal with it before you snap

T is for Temptation

T IS FOR TEMPTATION: Temptation has a habit of growing on you...

U is for Uncertainty

U... IS FOR UNCERTAINTY: One thing is certain in life — nothing is certain. The best way to deal with uncertainty is one step at a time. You can never know which way things will fall. But if your life is in balance, you will land on your feet

V for Victimhood

V... IS FOR VICTIMHOOD: We can’t control what happens in life, but we can control the way we respond. This means eliminating self-pity, blame and victimhood. Bad things happen to good people - but being the victim steals your future

W is for Worry

W... IS FOR WORRY: Worry is your brain in too much of a hurry. To get on top of it, get over yourself. Your thoughts are not facts and not fixed. Like clouds, they will pass. Let them go. Let them be

X is for Xenophobia

X... IS FOR XENOPHOBIA:  Xenophobia is an ugly word. Xeno means foreigner. Phobia means fear. Together they mean racism, biogtry, intolerance, injustice. Yet, if we embrace the differences in this world, the world looks different. More interesting, more rewarding

Y is for You

Y... IS FOR YOU: We all have our downside, our shadow side. Embrace it. Admitting our weaknesses is the first step in regaining our strength. Shining light on our darkness is the beginning of enlightenment

z is for zen

Z... IS FOR ZEN: Zen is a state of being. Of silence. Peacefulness. Mindfulness. Balance your being and your life will be in balance. Live right and everything will be in balance. Sit in stillness and silence. Turn your eye inward

  • Extracted from The Alphabet of the Human Heart by  Matthew Johnstone and James Kerr, published by Constable & Robinson on Thursday at £9.99. To order a copy (p&p free) call 0845 155 0720

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1345962/Alphabet-Human-Heart-Matthew-Johnstones-book-toxic-emotions.html#ixzz1AqCe4Nxp

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